keep it to a minimum

stress

Early pregnancy (I’m 4 weeks 5 days thanks to my late ovulation, per my calculations) is terrifying. The various thoughts in my head:

-ow! the pain in my boobs is excruciating

-oh my god! they are not sore anymore! relief!

-wait a minute…. WHY ARE THEY NOT SORE ANYMORE!!!!????

-whew. okay they are sore again.

Then I start googling. I’ve learned about all kinds of fun things…like the miscarriage that happens when you don’t see a heartbeat at your first OB appointment, the miscarriage that starts with light bleeding and no cramps, and most terrifying of all is the Molar Pregnancy. Which I thought I had earlier this week because of some extreme stomach bloating—but that was due to eating a huge tub of soba noodles in miso soup.

I need to find a way to relax and disengage a bit. So far DVRd reality tv shows seem to do the trick! Wish I could just watch those all day for the entire first 12 weeks.

myaccidentallyonpurpose asked: Hey there. Congrats on the pregnancy! When I replied to your post about it I was watching tv at the same time and I meant to say pregnancy not president. Sorry my mind has been mush today.

Thanks! President would be okay too!

Sexess!

I’ve haven’t posted in forever…but I do have big news today! I am pregnant!

Buenos Aires was amazing: lots of walking, 95+ degree weather, laying out by the pool on our rooftop deck, empanadas, ice cream, beef, malbec malbec and malbec.

When we got back I had the flu for like two weeks straight. As we were winding our way through passport control in Atlanta we passed by this family of four and all of them looked like they were dying. I’m pretty sure they infected me…it was awful. I had a fever, body aches, the works. So temping was out. But I still took my OPK tests. For the first time in the four months that I’d been watching my cycles, on CD 17, I finally got a “real” positive OPK—the test line was not just equal to the control line but was significantly darker. Even though I was a disgusting mess during my ovulation time I forced beebs into action and it worked! 

Here were my symptoms:

1dpo-4 dpo: nothing

5 dpo: weird shooting sensation in my pubic area

6 dpo: went on hike and noticed boobs hurt a teeny bit when going down steep steps

7 dpo: spotting: dark brown, lasted for 2-3 hours. boobs still ever so slightly sore

8-10 dpo: boobs very sore on the sides, hard to sleep on my stomach. also HUGE and very firm…better looking boobs than when I was a teenager. I’m a big D now. YIPES! also “breakfast aversion” 10 & 11 dpo.

11 dpo: positive test. 

My first appointment is not until February 22…uggh. My goal now is to remain as positive as possible and take good care of myself. I am trying not to freak out all the time and worry so much like I did about the whole TTC process. I learned my lesson: no need to get worked up until there’s a reason to. Easier said than done. Because to be honest, I am TERRIFIED.

On  another note, after reading so much about people’s struggles with infertility and being so aware of the issue I definitely appreciate everything. I do feel guilty. I will not take it for granted and will use everything I’ve learned to inform those around me who are uninformed.

emmysnacks asked: Haven't heard anything from you for awhile. . . It's January 2011, update us please!

Thanks for checking in! I’m going to write an update now! I got lazy and caught up with stuff…

Last cycle before we TTC!

So… I’m not pregnant… I tested negative on Thanksgiving and got my period on Saturday.

While it would have been really nice to get the whole TTC thing out of the way so easily the thought of watching Beebs drink malbec and eat delicious unpasteurized cheeses in Buenos Aires was not fun. I was also not too keen on enduring 15 hours of flights while possibly puking my guts out into a paper bag.

Hopefully the real two week waits will not be as crazy as the one I just had. Actually, I’m sure they will be but at least I will be of a single mind and I want to be pregnant.

So this is it…the last “wasted” cycle. Finally.

I’m little worried that my luteal phases have only been 10-11 days so far—but that could be from just coming off the pill. I started taking 100mg of Vitamin b6 to hopefully add a day or two.

I also took that Fir.st Re.sponse Fe.rtility test and passed. But later on I read that the test is pretty meaningless.

Here’s to the last cycle before TTC officially begins! I’m almost there…

Oops.

We had an oopsie and now I guess I am in the two week wait. I know the chances are slim (it only happened once and spermicide may or may not prevent anything form happening) and the timing is not right (um right before thanksgiving and our big trip). It’s only been two days and it’s already tricky pretending to be pregnant. I guess it’s good practice. Went out to dinner last night and nominated myself to be the DD—very unusual for me. So nobody raised eyebrows when I didn’t have wine but they did when I didn’t want oysters, raw fish or burrata. This weekend will also be interesting being around the in-laws (they don’t know that we’ve even discussed children) and then thanksgiving with lots of friends and family. I am not sure how to handle this…there’s like a 2% chance I’m pregnant. We decided for now that we’ll wait and see..if there are any symptoms I’ll continue to be careful for the rest of my cycle and if not then thanksgiving drunk-fest here I come! 

My friend

I have a friend who is my antithesis—she is off the pill and she is not tracking her cycles. She is a heavy smoker and heavy drinker and she refuses to change her lifestyle. She thinks nothing bad can happen to the fetus during the first four months of pregnancy. All her beliefs are based on anecdotal evidence. She might even be pregnant at this very moment. I can’t and won’t tell her what to do. I haven’t and won’t talk to her husband about it. I try to set an example but I don’t want to lecture her. She is an adult. I’m just frustrated about the whole thing. I just hope that when she finds out she is pregnant it will be a wake-up call and she’ll change her lifestyle.